If They Only Knew
by TJ Sparkles
Summary: Amy and Phil have been dating for years and refuse to get married, much to the chagrin of their friends and family. But what’s the old saying? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? CM Punk/Lita, Jeff Hardy/Maria. Completely AU. Oneshot.


**A/N: This is the first time in a while that I've been inspired to write for the wrestling fandom, so keep that in mind as you read this.  
**

**Written for cherrycokerocks, for the lita_fics challenge at LJ. Totally AU.  
**

* * *

They didn't have what you would call a conventional relationship.

In fact, they didn't work together or live together, despite the fact that they'd been dating for almost a decade now, but that was the way they preferred it. Neither of them were big advocates of marriage, for their own personal reasons (Amy's parents never officially got married, and Phil's had had a tumultuous marriage until finally divorcing when she was 16).

Phil's friends always said that his disdain for marriage wasn't due to the fact that his parents' marriage had been horrible, but rather because he was afraid of marriage. Not of commitment—that much was obvious with his relationship with Amy—but of actually being tied down. And they were right, in a sense, but Phil never admitted it.

Truthfully, the reason why he didn't want to get married had nothing to do with insecurities over whether or not he'd be a good husband, or whether or not he'd be able to actually go through with it. In truth, Phil always rejected the idea of marriage because, well, what if it didn't work out? Why take the risk of shaking up what he knew was already a steady, healthy relationship, for the prospect of marriage? Some would misconstrue his feelings and think that he believed he was above marriage. But the Chicago native had discussed this with Amy before, and she was fine with it. They both knew that they loved each other, and they were secure in their relationship. Not getting married wasn't like a deal-breaker or anything for either of them. As Amy liked to tell him, she was fine with whatever. It didn't matter to her. If Phil ever decided that he wanted to marry her, well, then she would go get a dress, despite her hatred for them, and walk down the aisle. But they were happy with the way things were.

Besides, as Phil liked to say, he lived by the saying, "_If it ain't broke, don't fix it._"

And in his mind, there was no guarantee that the love that Amy had for him wouldn't turn to hate, which in turn could lead to her leaving him for someone else. Better to remain in a steady relationship than to plunge face first into something that had a lot of risks.

Phil tried to act like he was tough, like nothing really shook him up or bothered him, putting on a tough, bad-ass act, but that's all it was, an _act. _Very few people really got to see the true him, and that was the way he preferred it. He was a man of simple pleasures, really: his dogs, his friends, and Amy were really all he needed to be happy.

But that didn't mean that the people in their lives didn't try to make the couple even happier (according to them, anyway) by dropping little hints. Take Maria, for instance. The redhead was constantly trying to get the couple to get married, and it didn't matter how often Amy or Phil protested, because she never gave up. Amy loved her friend dearly, but there were times when she wished that she'd never introduced her to Jeff. That was how the whole mess had started. See, Jeff Hardy, Maria's husband of almost four years now, also happened to be Phil's stepbrother. As a favor to Phil, and also in an attempt to cheer Maria up after a particularly nasty breakup with her high school sweetheart, Amy set up a romantic date for Maria and Jeff. She only wanted to make the redhead feel better. So when Maria came home from Jeff's one day about two months later and announced that they were engaged, it had been a shock, to say the least.

"_Engaged?" Phil questioned, his eyes wide. "You sure you heard her right?"_

"_Yeah, I'm sure," Amy replied. "She just marched in the door with this goofy grin on her face and before I could say anything, said, 'Me and Jeff are getting married.'"_

"_Wow, she's fast," Phil drawled. _

"_Shut up!" The woman hit her boyfriend. "What are we supposed to do about this?"_

_The dark-haired man shrugged._

"_Nothin' we can do. I guess we have to suck it up and pretend to be happy about it."_

"_Well, I'm not unhappy about it," Amy stated, "just surprised. No offense, but Jeff never struck me as, um, the marrying type." _

_Again, her boyfriend shrugged._

"_I didn't either." He sucked on his lip ring. "I just hope they don't ask us to be in the wedding party."_

_Amy glared at his pointedly._

"_You know they will. Shall I take you shopping for a tux?" her voice was teasing now._

"_Hell. No." The Chicago native replied. "I'd rather be bound and gagged."_

"_Oooh, that can definitely be arranged," Amy teased, leaning in for a kiss._

"_I'm serious, Amy. I hate weddings."_

Of course they'd been invited to the party, and in typical Phil fashion, Amy had practically had to force her boyfriend to go tux shopping. The wedding had went off smoothly enough, with the bride walking down the aisle barefoot (a sight Amy was sure she'd never get out of her head), and Jeff wore his black pants, a wifebeater, and his hair in pigtails. They were the living, walking, talking example of the saying "opposites attract". Amy was jealous that they were so different, and yet it didn't seem to matter. But she loved both of them, and so she was happy that they were all gooey and in love and happy.

A couple of months later, the two females were sitting in Maria's living room, chatting and catching up, when Maria once again tried to approach the subject.

"So, have you given any more thought to what I said about you and Phil?"

"For the millionth time, Maria, no. Phil and I are not getting married, no matter how much you push it, so let's drop it, okay?" Amy shook her head.

Maria's lips twisted as she opened her mouth to protest.

"But Chris and Mickie are getting married next month."

Amy rolled her eyes.

"Phil and I are the_ total opposite _of Chris and Mickie. So if you were thinking about a double wedding, forget it. We're happy just the way we are."

Maria remained silent, but her cheeks were pink, a dead giveaway that she'd been caught. Amy groaned and slapped her forehead.

"You _were,_ weren't you?"

"I…I thought it might be cute," Maria stammered, blushing furiously.

"_Cute_?" Amy made a face. "I don't want to be a part of anything cute."

"Aw, come on," Maria sighed, as she crossed her legs underneath her. "You can't tell me that deep, deep, _deep _down inside, you don't want to get married."

"Uh, yeah, I can," Amy replied smoothly. "Look, Ria, I appreciate that you care so much, I really do, but it's just not something that Phil or I want right now."

The younger woman pouted.

"You guys are really stubborn," she said. "Jeff told me this wouldn't work."

The Florida resident shook her head and laughed at the comment.

"Well, you should listen to Jeff, he knows what he's talking about." She got up from her position on the couch.

"I was just about to make lunch, you want something?"

Maria smiled.

"Sure".

"Are you still on a diet?" Amy questioned as they made their way into the kitchen. According to Maria, married life was agreeing a bit too well with her, and she'd gained about ten pounds. Amy didn't see it—her friend had a body that most women would kill to have—but Maria always complained of being chunky and having "jiggly thighs."

The guys were in the living room, watching what looked to be a horror movie, and Maria grimaced as she passed by.

"What is _that_?" she questioned in disgust.

"Mghdaghdg," Jeff mumbled, his mouth full of popcorn.

"Okay, slow down, Chewbacca," Amy answered. She turned to her husband.

"What, watching The Exorcist again?"

Phil simply nodded.

"Ew." Maria wrinkled up her nose. "Scary movies are gross."

Once she was finished preparing lunch—a platter of vegetables and sandwiches for everyone, Amy walked into the living room and placed it on the table. Smiling, she walked over and seated herself in her boyfriend's arms, kissing his cheek softly.

With his eyes focused directly on the TV, Jeff muttered,

"If you guys are gonna do it, can you at least wait until me and Ria leave?"

Amy and Maria both burst into laughter at that remark, the latter wiping tears from her eyes.

"Jeff, you're too much," his wife exclaimed.

And the four of them fell into a comfortable silence, Maria snuggling into Jeff's arms. Amy smiled at her boyfriend and squeezed his hand, their secret signal for "I love you." The dark haired man smiled and returned the gesture, sliding an arm around the redhead's shoulders.  
_Now this is something I could get used to, _she thought to herself.

She'd take being silly and watching scary movies with Phil over marriage any day.

Besides, their relationship was never dull.

* * *


End file.
